The Get Along Shirt
by IslaF
Summary: EreJean / Eren and Jean's constant fighting causes Shadis to give them The Get Along shirt-a giant shirt for them to share for three days and three nights to force them to find common ground.


**A/N:** Got the idea from those sad posts with unhappy siblings being paired up together in a big shirt hahaha. Appropriate for these dorks.

This is my first fic for this fandom and pairing, as well as being written from third-person POV because I normally write in first-person POV. It's just a big adventure for me, alright? It's hard writing emotions and sensations from an outside angle. Whatevs. Hope you like it-be nice!

* * *

They've really done it this time. Eren and Jean's constant spatting during training exercise has finally caused Shadis to lose his mind. Grabbing both boys by the collar of their shirts and bringing them an inch away from his terrifying face, Shadis yells, "I've had it with you dumbass idiots! If I have to tell you one more god damn time to shut your fucking mouths and start working as a team I'm going to shove those wooden daggers up both your asses!" Shadis takes a moment and inhales what seems like all the air on Earth. He closes his exhausted eyes and when he opens them, only horror could be felt by Eren and Jean. "No... No I have a better idea," Shadis whispers, almost to himself, and smirks with a gleam in his eyes. "You boys are getting the shirt."

Eren and Jean look at each other with horror. Eren begs, as he holds onto the strong fist clutching his collar, "Sir, please anything but that shirt! You can't stick me in that thing with this long-faced, bossy, inconsiderate—"

"ENOUGH." Shadis shouts, small drops of spit showering the boys as he drops them from his grip. "See me after training." He marches away to resume watching other trainees, and as soon as he's out of earshot, the two are back to bickering.

"This is all _your_ fucking fault, Yeager!" Jean yells with his hand replacing that of Shadis's on Eren's shirt.

"It is not! See, _you're_ starting shit with me! _Again_!" Eren throws a punch which hits Jean's cheekbone. Jean returns one and bruises Eren's jaw. In a matter of minutes, their scuffle turns into an all-out fight, distracting other trainees, who are circling them now and making bets with one another. And of course, the attention of Shadis has been captured once more.

"YAEGAR. KIRSTEIN. WITH ME." He doesn't wait for them as he begins stomping to the office. Eren and Jean don't bother brushing themselves off as they follow Shadis at a distance in silence. They know what's coming. Shadis has only used this method once before on Annie and Mikasa to improve Annie's teamwork abilities. It's never been used as strictly a punishment.

As the small office fills with three warm bodies, Shadis wastes no time. "Take off those jackets, you suckling piglets. You'll have to earn them back. In fact, give me your shirts, too. Maybe you frustrating shits will learn to stop being so fucking useless by freezing your asses off."

"Yes, sir," Eren and Jean groan in unison. They remove their jackets and shirts slowly, sliding off the straps and taking their time with pulling the shirts over their heads. The longer they take, the longer they have apart from one another, but the more irritated Shadis is becoming.

"HURRY UP, YOU IGNORANT DONKEYS."

Jean and Eren hustle to rid their skin of the fabric, before fitting their straps back in place and standing in salute.

"Three days, three nights," Shadis stares in their eyes as they accept the large, neatly-folded shirt from his hand. "Don't even think about taking this off or I'll wring your asses like a chicken's neck."

Jean stares down at the white cotton. "T-Three days? What about showers—"

"You can forget your god damn showers. You've lost your privileges to them. Consider this the calm before the storm if you keep this annoying act up. This punishment is _nothing_ compared to what I could do to you slimy shits. Am I clear?!"

"Yes, sir!" the boys salute.

"Get back to the training ground as soon as you put that on." With that, Shadis makes his exit, shutting the door to leave the boys in the office together.

"I can't fucking believe this. You got us into this mess, you bastard, I fucking hate you!" Eren yells. His hands find Jean's neck, but are quickly tugged away.

"Shut the fuck up! If you weren't go irritating, I wouldn't have done shit! This is your fault! Fucking instigator! You're always the shit stirrer!" Jean tries to push Eren to the ground, but is knocked over himself. Eren straddles him and his fist collides with Jean's face in the same spot as before. "Fucking ow, you piece of shit! Get off me!" This time Jean succeeds in pushing Eren to the floor. Their hands come together, trying to push the other down, but Jean decides to give. "Let's just put this fucking thing on and get back outside so Shadis won't come back and make things worse," he grumbles, obviously trying to be the bigger person and holding back what he really wants to say. But fuck, it's hard with someone as infuriating as Eren.

Both boys gawk as Jean holds the shirt's shoulders and watches it unfold. The shirt is seriously gigantic. It could probably even fit a third person inside. The phrase "The Get Along Shirt" is written boldly in black across the front. Eren scowls at Jean as he tugs the shirt from him and puts it on first, his right arm going through the arm hole. "Asshole, why do _you_ get the right arm?!" Jean complains quite loudly.

"Because this is all _your_ fault!"

"You started it!"

"No, you did!"

"No!"

"Shut the fuck up and put your arm in!" Eren half-screams. Jean won't admit it, but he internally laughs at "arm in". Reluctantly, he ducks to fit inside, too, tunneling his head through the collar (bumping heads with Eren and cursing at him for that, too) and his left arm through the arm hole. The shirt is so large, it goes down to Jean's mid-thigh. His right arm brushes Eren's left constantly. There's no way to avoid that. And their heads are also extremely close. _Too_ close for either of the boys' liking.

"You're a fucking fuck, you know that?" Jean gripes.

"Good one, fucking horseface," Eren counters.

"Please, that joke is so fucking old. Come up with something clever, you unoriginal asshole."

"Stop neighing, horseface."

"Okay, you know what?!"

"Stop trying to hold my hand with your hoof!" Eren verbally jabs.

"I don't have anywhere else to put my arm!"

"You mean 'leg'."

"I'm so fucking sick of you already, you piece of shit, narcissistic dick." Jean scowls as he tries to adjust to the new situation of being dominantly left-handed for three days. Eren's body heat is already too much. Why is this dick so warm? Is he sick? Jean swears if Eren is sick, he might just take on Shadis himself for putting all of this on them. Okay, no, that was a lie.

As they exit the office and find their way back to the training grounds, everyone is dying of laughter. The shirt is humiliating. The group of trainees jeer and mock them, calling them a "cute couple" and "humanity's strongest duo", which pisses Jean and Eren off even more than they already are, being teenage boys and not being able to take a joke because fuck, they are not a fucking couple, okay?!

The guys walk in shame as they try to continue hand-to-hand combat training as usual, but no one can take them seriously. Shadis is beaming from across the field. Apparently, it's good enough for two of the best in the group to just sit down and watch everyone else together. That is their training for the next three days—watching other people train while attempting to put up with each other.

* * *

Needless to say, the situation is awkward. Arms are constantly brushing against each other. The heat of the shirt is provided by the mixing of both Eren and Jean. Their heads are only a couple inches apart, so all talking (arguing) is done face front.

There's also the sleeping situation; Shadis meant what he said when he said three days and nights. The shirt is so hot. It's so constricting. It's smothering both of them. Eren creates even more body heat in his sleep and Jean is sweating his ass off in this little bed with him. Their backs are touching throughout the night, and they have to sleep close to avoid being choked by the shirt's collar. Their arms are sucked into the shirt altogether for some kind of comfort. Eren is probably knocked, but shit, Jean can't sleep. Eren rolls over and is facing Jean's back, and to Jean's horror, Eren's forehead rests between his shoulder blades. Soft breaths create moments of warm and then cool, constantly at an even pace against Jean's pale skin. He could smack Eren awake. He could suffocate him in his sleep the same way the shirt is suffocating him. But he doesn't. It's actually... comforting. The heat from Eren's entire back is gone now that he's changed positions, and with the newfound coolness, Jean finds sleep relatively easily.

* * *

Everything is a challenge now. Eren can't wait for the next day to go by quickly. Everything about Jean is so irritating and Jean feels the same way about Eren. Many times, Jean has reached for something with his right hand, only to bump into the fabric or Eren's torso, of which the latter usually causes an argument and glares from Shadis from across the room. Jean never realized how fucking useless his left hand is. His side of The Get Along Shirt is so so messy from spilled drinks and food. Each time it happens he has to lean his head back and take deep breaths while Eren laughs at how sloppy his once-primped comrade has become.

Eren definitely has it easier. He's used to his own body heat, _loves_ arguing with Jean, and can do everything perfectly well thanks to being right-handed. He definitely planned this when he put the shirt on first. Bastard. If nothing else, Jean is just happy to be able to see Mikasa more often since she's always around Eren. But because of that, Jean never gets the chance to meet her eye, and if he does, she's glaring because she's so protective of Eren.

Never has Eren heard Jean sigh more in the entire time he's known him. Without looking at his face, Eren knows Jean rolls his eyes at almost everything that goes on between them—communicating or not—and he's had about enough of that shit.

"I swear to fucking God, Jean, if you don't stop rolling your damn eyes, I'm going to kill you in your sleep." Is he serious? Jean doesn't know, but he takes the bait.

"Stop talking to me! Fucking shit, you're annoying!"

" _I'm_ annoying!?"

"Shut! Up!"

Eren's had it. He's had it with that long-face, the feeling of the smug expression when Jean talks, the goddamn hand that's always bumping his and trying to grab things even though it's trapped by the shirt—everything! Eren has had it!

He turns his head, an inch from Jeans, meets his eyes and grins a devilish, dangerous grin. His left hand feels up Jean's side. His skin is so smooth under his fingertips. Jean's expression changes from curious to embarrassed to angry. What the fuck is Yeager thinking!? Then Eren's fingers move quickly in a single spot and he's tickling him. Tickling him so hard that Jean thinks he'll piss himself. He falls to the floor with a forceful _thud_ , and the shirt brings Eren along too, but he doesn't stop tickling him. His eyes well up with tears and his stomach feels as if it'll burst. The laughing is frequently interrupted by curses and yells. Soon the laughing turns to pained moans and chuckles. Eren is living.

"Ahhhahahahaha-oowwwwww—fucking haHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! HAHA AHAAaaAAHHhhhhhh..." But Eren keeps going. "IF—HAHAHA—IF I PISS ON MYSELF, FUCK—OW—YOU'RE STILL STUCK WITH ME!" That does it. Eren didn't think that through. He'd have to smell that shit until they changed out of their pants to sleep because they were still not allowed a shower.

As Jean covers his face with his arm and tries to recover from his uncalled-for ab workout, Eren tries to sit up. He's not concerned with Jean's need to heal and wants to head to dinner, but Jean is heavier than him. He can't sit up more than halfway without the shirt constraining him. "Get up you lazy dipshit!"

"Screw you! I need to lie here a second!"

"GET UP."

"FUCK YOU!" They're fighting again, punching each other, kicking each other. Eren's nose is bleeding all over the shirt. Hell, Jean is positive Eren bit his neck in the scuffle, which was not even a little bit hot, he swears.

With fresh bruises and (mock) battle scars, the two wind up at dinner, and as Jean spills more soup onto the shirt, Sasha just _has_ to point out the bite mark Eren left on Jeans neck. "Ooh~ I think it worked! They're already so in love!" she teases. Everyone crowds around to look, but Jean covers it with his hand, blushing furiously. Eren doesn't seem to care too much, but his body seems to heat up even more, Jean thinks.

The boys are still squabbling as they're climbing into bed. As they each kick their pants off, Jean swears Eren's eyes linger on his a moment too long, but becomes too flustered to call him out on it. What is with Eren anyway? Arguing with him one minute, tickling him, biting his neck, punching him. What's his deal with Jean?

"I have an idea," Eren suddenly says.

"What's up?"

"If we act like we're good with each other, like real friendly, maybe Shadis will let us out of this thing before tomorrow night so we can sleep in our own beds."

"Since when are you all let's-be-friends, huh?" Jean questions. He's suspicious, as he probably should be.

"I'm sick of smelling you and being around you, and your fucking arm touching mine is the most irritating thing on the entire fucking planet, that's why!"

"Well shit, if you feel so strongly..." Jean jokes.

"Oh, are you actually growing fond of me now, pony boy?" Eren teases as they lie down together and pull their arms inside the shirt.

"Get fucking real, Yeager," Jean says a little too seriously before turning to face away from Eren.

"Wha? You mean you don't like me, _Jean_?" Eren mocks in a voice like he's talking to a baby. "And here I thought this get-along shirt was actually working." He sighs over-exaggeratedly and presses his bare chest against Jean's back. "Maybe you'd like me biting that neck of yours some more, hm?" He jokes. "Everyone at dinner would just assume we were fighting, you know—"

"No! Stop!" Eren laughs because damn, Jean really can't take a joke from him, ever. Jean jabs his fist blindly behind him, hoping to land a punch into some part of Eren's body, and _ding ding ding!_ He hits Eren in the balls.

"GOD DAMN—" Eren cries as he curls around himself with his hands in his crotch, cradling his sad sex organs.

Jean actually feels guilty. That's a pain he would never wish upon anyone, even Eren. And he had hit him hard with his knuckles. He turns around with his face inches from Eren's. "Oh God—I am _so_ sorry!"

"Fucking bite me, Kirstein!" Eren rolls over after spewing that and all conversation is assumed over.

In fact, they rarely talk the next (and last) day too. Why is Eren so pissed off anyway? It's not like that's the first time he's ever been hit in the dick and it was a fucking accident. Jean hates to admit it, but the day did go by faster when there was shit to argue about. But even when he's the one trying to start shit with Eren, nothing works. He just glares that fucking menacing glare.

By the time it's the last night in the shirt together, Jean is actually worried Eren will kill him in his sleep. He tries to wait until Eren is doing the light snoring he normally does, but it doesn't happen.

"You still up, asswipe?" Jean asks.

"What's it to you?" Eren mumbles.

"What the fuck is your problem today?" Jean loudly whispers.

"I fucking hate you, that's my problem. I'm probably sterile now, thanks."

"Since when are you a fucking baby?"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Screw you, I said I was sorry, dammit."

"Fine. I guess I forgive you, stupid dickwad."

Jean shakes his head in disbelief. "This shirt actually works," he laughs.

Eren agrees, "Hah, yeah, I guess so."

It's silent for a few moments. Eren scoots his back so it's touching Jean's, and their skin is smooth against each other's, and comfortably warm. Whereas it's usually too hot for Jean to take, this is nice. Soon he hears the soft snoring Eren emits, which is just enough white noise for him to sleep, too.

In the middle of the night, Jean awakens to Eren's front pressed full against him and feels his arms wrapping around his waist, but he's too tired to do anything about it. It's too quiet, though. There's no snoring from the boy next to him. "You're awake aren't you?" Jean quietly asks in a sleepy (and sexy? Eren thinks) voice proving he's just now woken up.

"And?" Eren asks against Jean's skin. His lips press kisses between Jean's shoulder blades.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Eren!" Jean tries his best to sit up but the shirt is still restricting him. He's so close to getting this thing taken off, he doesn't want to risk taking it off a few hours before it's due. "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"I'm gonna miss this shirt," he mumbles tiredly and pulls Jean's bicep to him to kiss that since his back is too far away now.

"Are you sleep-talking?"

"No."

Jean is beginning to panic. "Are you half asleep? You sound kind of groggy."

"I'm awake."

"We fucking hate each other, why are you acting like this now?"

"Be quiet, you'll wake someone."

"God dammit, Eren!"

"The shirt worked, I guess." Even though it's so dark, Jean can see those green eyes wink at him. "I'll miss your hand touching mine and annoying this shit out of me. I'll miss the extra source of heat..."

"Eren what the fuck is wrong with you right now, seriously?"

Eren acts although he can't even hear Jean. "I'll miss being able to smell you next to me. You have a nice smell, Jean." He continues kissing the bicep.

"'Jean'? You're calling me by my actual name?"

"Yeah, try it. It's kind of nice." Jean is ninety percent positive that Eren is half asleep.

He falls into the trap though. "I call you by your name all the time, Eren."

"Sounds nice," he grumbles. His hands run along Jean's forearm and then up to his shoulder and slowly begins to rub his torso.

By now Jean's whole body is one big blush, and Eren knows it. He has to feel how hot Jean's becoming. His even hotter fingertips running along his body is slowly, slowly turning him on. But how? This is Eren Yeager for Christ's sake!

"Lie back down," Eren gently commands. Jean does. "Let's take this shirt off?" His choice of words are like a command but the tone sounds like he's asking.

Jean really does not want to risk it. "I—I, uh..."

"Don't be a pussy," Eren pressures.

"Fuck you, asshole," Jean insults with a nervous attitude. He doesn't want to spend three more days with this fucking shirt. He wants a shower.

Eren pulls it off of them both before Jean realizes what's happening. His arm was still out of the arm hole so it wasn't difficult for Eren. He kisses his way up to Jean's neck and gently licks the area he bit yesterday. "I really didn't mean to bite you here..." he whispers against Jean's skin. The breath against wet saliva gives him chills. He kisses the bite mark again and again and again. So much that Jean pushes his head away because the feeling is becoming irritating from so much attention.

"Tired of it?'' Eren asks.

"Yes."

"Okay." With that, Eren moves behind his ear. Exhales from his nose find Jean's ear and that causes him to shiver, too. So close... Eren is so close to him and his breath is so hot and his lips are so soft. God, they're so good. He knows how to kiss, where to kiss, what to do with his lips and his tongue. Jean is in heaven. Soon Eren backs up slightly and kisses the corner of Jeans mouth half a second before planting a full kiss on the lips. Jean's lips feel cool against Eren's, but quite soft, nonetheless. Quiet pecking noises can be heard through the otherwise silent room, and soon their breathing becomes more intense and frantic, even though all they're doing is kissing. Sharp inhales through their noses turn into gasps and the exhales transform into hushed moans out of their mouths. Jean can feel Eren's obvious hard-on through his boxers rubbing against his inner thigh, and if he keeps this up, Jean's going to become hard, too.

Their tongues come into desperate contact with one another. Jean has so many questions, but he's learned before that asking them at a time like this ruins the mood. Talking is for after. If they both want this now, and they clearly do, why ruin the moment?

Eren begins gently humping Jean. Does he know he's doing that? He's found a place on top of Jean, between his legs, and slowly backs up before pressing his hard cock against Jean as far as he can so their crotches come into full, clothed contact before he repeats. Jean knows this isn't good. This isn't what should be happening between them, and good lord, tomorrow is going to be awkward. But with Jean's dick growing inside his boxers, thanks to Eren and his scent, his lips, his tongue, his moans, and the large cock between his legs coming into contact with his own, nothing else matters right now. Absolutely nothing. And no one. Not Connie in the bunk next to them, and not Shadis across the grounds.

Soon Eren sits back and pulls his boxers down just so his cock is unclothed. He lays his dick against Jean's covered one. Eren places his hands so they are holding Jean's hips gently and begins simply thrusting against him. Jean has no clue what type of pleasure Eren is getting from this because nothing is tight around his dick, so he decides to take initiative. He spits into his right hand—finally he can use it—and gently holds Eren's cock. Why is he doing this, why is he doing this, _why_ is he doing this?!

He looks to Eren's face, totally engrossed by ecstasy, and feels him shudder between his thighs. Jean simply holds his hand still, letting it be slowly fucked by the brunet in front of him.

"Tighter..." Eren groans, so Jean complies and reduces the size of the hole his hand is making. Feeling the familiar hardness of a ready cock in his hand without the pleasure of touching himself is so... strange. Eren is within his grasp, and hearing the slickness and wet noises that cock is creating in his hand has him fucking hard. When did Eren— _Eren_ —get so fucking hot?! Jean needs friction. Eren slightly picks up speed. "Oh, Jean..." God, now he really needs something helping his cock out.

Jean replaces his right hand with his left one for Eren, and pulls himself out of his boxers so he can jerk himself off with the hand Eren was just fucking—and Christ if that isn't just the hottest thing. Jean begins meeting Eren's thrusts with his hand. He lets both of his hands do the same things so he's feeling the same pleasure as Eren.

However, Eren knocks Jean's hand away so he can pleasure him himself. If you would have told either one of them that they'd be giving each other a handy by night, they'd knock you out on the spot. But here they are now—pleasuring each other with spit-coated palms on a bed they have been forced to share. Now they're closer than ever.

"Oh, ohhh, ahh, ah, ah, aaaaahhhhh, Jeaaannnn..." Eren moans.

"Hnnn, oh, God, shh... shhh please—oh!—please beeEEee quiet..."

"Can't help... too good... uhhhhgg, fuuckkk yesss," he moans. His hand skillfully strokes Jean as his hips continuously rock into Jean's hand. "Wish this was your fucking mouth," Eren dares.

"Hah—good one, you horny bastard..." Jean is too lost for any more words. He'd forgotten how good it felt to be touched by someone other than himself.

Eren holds Jean's hand to remove it from his cock, gently holds Jean's dick, and starts rubbing them together. "Ohh, Eren—" his eyes widen at himself and he wants to die. Eren is the last person he wants to do these things with and yet he's doing them. A harsh blush stains Jean's cheeks as he looks up to see if Eren is making fun of him for moaning his name, but Eren doesn't give a single shit. He's too busy rubbing the heads of their cocks in circles around each other and biting his lip with a furrowed brow. If he wasn't already over the edge, that would have pushed Jean over. He leans up to kiss and suck on Eren's neck, clumsily, anyway. A wet tongue makes Eren shudder, and he can't help but smile as he continues playing with their cocks. He leans down and meets Jean's lips a few times, and after a minute or two, Eren lets go of everything to push Jean on his back and lean over him with his hands flat on the bed next to Jean's face. Their exposed cocks rub against each other, but it's not easy for them to stay in specific place because, well, they're dicks.

Eren sucks on Jean's neck as the blond reaches down to encircle both cocks between slick hands for them to fuck. Feeling another cock against their own plus the wetness from Jean's hands is incredible. Continuous, quiet moans leave the two mouths. Sweat is beginning to coat their foreheads. Eren's head finds the crease between Jean's neck and shoulder and stays there the rest of the time. His hot breaths feel so fucking good on Jean's skin.

It doesn't take too much longer for them to finish. "Mmmf, mmm, ahh, ohhhh, fuck!" Eren comes first, his thick cum covers Jean's torso as if he hadn't masturbated in months. A few minutes later, Jean's also covered himself thanks to Eren's encouraging moans and compliments. "You're so fucking sexy, Jean, why haven't I ever noticed?"

Either way, Eren quickly sneaks to the bathroom and back to wipe Jean off with toilet paper. The longer it takes, the more awkward things become. Jean can't look him in the eye. Eren is only focusing on cleaning Jean off. They both sigh as they lie next to each other inside the Get Along shirt—in total disbelief that it actually worked—a little too well.

* * *

The two boys report for attendance the next morning, waiting for Shadis to give the okay to take the shirt off. They try to act normal with each other and find petty things to argue about, however, it's obvious something has happened between them.

Hickeys cover Jean's neck, much to his horror. When Shadis shows up, they aren't sure if it was a curse or a blessing. He knows they removed the shirt. He _knows_. Either that or he just hears their consistent fake-bickering. Either way, three more days and nights in the shirt. Shower privileges are still revoked.

"You know what, I really do fucking hate you. You're a dilhole, you know that!?" Jean yells.

"You think I want to be in this any longer than you do?! You stink!"

"I want to take a shower, but now I can't thanks to you!"

"Screw you!"

"I'm sure that's exactly what you want, horny dog," Jean mumbles.

"Go fuck yourself."


End file.
